Animal Rights Activists Are Wrecking The Environment
A major concern for environmentalists is the melting of the ice caps. Of course, they are the first ones to point the finger, if only to draw fire from the animal rights activists. They blame the big,[url=http://www.longchamphandbags.us@#$%&/]longchamp bags[/url], bad corporations, which allow toxic fumes to enter the atmosphere, trapping the sun's heat in what is called the greenhouse effect. Have you ever heard anything more ridiculous? The planet is refusing to reflect the sunlight because of some gasses? The atmosphere isn't made out of glass guys. Nice try, but I've seen past your unorthodox excuses and come to a much more plausible conclusion: the ice caps are melting because we've let too many seals live there. Think about for second,[url=http://www.monclerjackets-outlet@#$%&/]moncler uk[/url], and it makes perfect sense. When you're making a snowball to get your brother with but you can't find him anywhere, the snowball starts to melt in your warm, fuzzy glove. Now,[url=http://www.vanspas-cher.fr/]@#$%& femme[/url], while you realize that your brother has been inside for the past half hour, it is easy to see the connection between your glove and the seal. A seal is warm and fuzzy, just like your gloved hand. And, just like your gloved hand, it has the power to turn snow into water. If applied on a larger scale, you can see that a larger quantity of seals results in a larger quantity of snow in this case ice turning into water. Before now the seal population was regulated by the Inuit peoples, who understood the frail balance between fuzzy and frozen. Now, this balance has been thrown off by those 'save the seals' fanatics. Thank you, seal loving people; you've just doomed the ice caps. Enjoy your fuzzy seals while the polar bears, penguins, and all of mankind pay the price.
Exhibit B: Rising Sea Levels and Whales
People are also worried about the rising sea levels. Many coastal cities could become waterlogged, causing millions of dollars of damage and ruining the lives of those that live by the sea. Many have speculated or outright proven; it depends on how you want to see it that this rising sea level is because of the melting polar ice caps. As I have stated, this is an outright lie. I have, however,[url=http://www.cheapoakley--sunglasses@#$%&/]cheap oakley sunglasses wholesale[/url], through my imagination and a mediocre grasp of elementary school physics, attributed the rising sea level to the rising whale population. Animal rights activists have been worried about these giant slabs of meat and fat for years, but now they're actually doing something about it, and are dooming us all. Now you may be wondering how this rise in whale population has anything to do with the sea level, but the answer lies in your bathtub. Try filling it to the brim and then getting in. Do you have a puddle on the floor to clean up? That's because you have displaced the water with your body mass. Now, as you're kneeling in your bathtub with a towel in your hand trying to dry the floor before your family gets home, my theory starts to come together. The more whales that are saved, the more water is displaced by their body mass. This leads to rising sea levels. Before now we have been able to keep the whale population under control through the careful management that only shiny harpoons can provide. Now,[url=http://www.nikeair-max.fr/]air max thea[/url], thanks to the animal rights activists, we can no longer manage the population legally, leaving the save the whales crazed hippies to drown us with impunity.
Exhibit C: Global Warming and Cows
Of all the problems we are being made aware of by environmentalists,[url=http://www.mcmhandbags-backpack@#$%&/]mcm belt[/url], the most pressing issue in the world today is global warming. Everyone is afraid that greenhouse gases,[url=http://www.nikefreerun.fr/]free run @#$%&[/url], primarily methane, are locking in the heat from the sun that would normally bounce off into space. This could, give or take several hundred or thousand years, turn the planet into an Easy Bake Oven and cook us all. While it is easy and convenient to blame greenhouse gas emissions on the misuse of gas guzzling cars, we must realize that this is just the excuse environmentalists use to cover up the real problem. I have discovered from several minutes of shoddy research that the real threat to the survival of the planet is the cow. Cows give off at this time 14% of all emissions of methane. Now,[url=http://www.chanel-handbags.us@#$%&/]coco chanel[/url], that may not seem like much now, but look at the world around you. Thousands are taking a stand against the consumption of animals, more than ever before. Before long, we'll be up to our ears in liberated farm animals and methane emissions will skyrocket. Once again,[url=http://www.redbottomshoes.in.net/]christian louboutin shoes on sale[/url], in a past age of unmatched glory, about ten or twenty years ago,[url=http://www.gucci-outlet.us@#$%&/]gucci wallet[/url], there was roast beef at every table for every meal of every day. Now, because of the combined effort of animal rights activists and mad cow disease yes, they're in league with each other it's more common to see a portabella mushroom on our barbecues in the place of mouth watering steak.
So what the hell are we supposed to do?
So, I bet you're now asking yourself what you should do. You can't carry on with your present lifestyle, but you can't trust the environmentalists to give you a straight answer either. Who do you turn to? Who's going to help you fix the world? No one is. The world is not in trouble at all. In fact, it's been warming and cooling itself naturally ever since day one. All that we've contributed to global warming over our entire span of existence could have been done in a day or two by a volcano. We're not going to stop global warming by turning our lights off now and then or using green plastic bags instead of greenish plastic bags. We're just going to have to deal with it. Anyways, it's not that bad on me in Canada. When everything warms up, Canada will be the new California. And, I guess, California will be the new Sahara desert, but I'll be doing just fine.

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