American Dad
Stan Smith: [picks up the phone] This is Stan Smith.
Principal Lewis: Mr. Smith, I'm afraid there's a problem with your son.
Stanley Smith: Oh, God, he's gay. This is it. This is the gay call. I've been ready for this for years. [takes out a vial and starts chugging down pills]
Principal Lewis: Uhh, no. It's just that he's gone mad with power. He evacuated the entire school and barricaded himself in my office.
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Hayley Smith: You know, Dad, it's great that you and your CIA buddies have made up some fun little way to keep the masses paralyzed in fear.
Stan Smith: You like shaving your armpits, Hayley? Huh? 'Cause if the terrorists take over this country,[url=http://www.reebokshoesoutlet.us@#$%&/]reebok skyscape[/url], that's the first thing to go! [the toaster pops up its products and Stan quickly takes out his gun and shoots it numerous times, destroying the toaster and nearly the toast]
Hayley Smith: [staring at Stan in shock with the rest of the family] It's just toast,[url=http://www.borse-louisvuitton.it/]louis @#$%&[/url], Dad. This one will be mine. [claims the shot up toast]
Girl: Hey,[url=http://www.louisvuittonoutlet-online.us/]louis @#$%& outlet[/url], I love your dog.
Guy: Hey, want to come back to my apartment and pet my schnauzer?
Girl: Okay,[url=http://www.valentino-outlet.us/]valentino shoes[/url].
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Hayley Smith: Oh my God. Dad, why is Hilary Duff in our house?
Stan Smith: Hilary is here of her own free will because she wants to have dinner with Steve,[url=http://www.marcjacobshandbagsoutlet.net/]marc by marc jacobs[/url].
Steve Smith: Hilary, could you pass the salt?
Stan Smith: [holding gun to her head] Pass him the salt.
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Steve Smith: You said, "Look out for the mines."
Stan Smith: I said, "Look out for the mines."
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